It's Time for Bed

The 80/20 Rule, for When Life Happens! If you have ever worked with me on sleeping training with your little one, you will know my #1 tool to reach success. It is to be consistent. Being consistent is the key to getting and keeping sleep on track. It is important while sleep training to offer dedicated time with that consistent message so that your little one will have the opportunity to learn the new skills and routines that are needed for successful sleep training. Once you have your little one consistently sleeping well, then what? Does your child’s schedule mean that you can’t celebrate holidays, have day outings, or take vacations? Does that mean you have to decline all offers for fun activities? The answer is no. You can make exceptions and still keep your child well-rested. This is where the 80/20 Rule comes in. What is the 80/20 Rule? The 80/20 Rule means that you stick to your healthy consistent sleep schedule 80% of the time. You then can make exceptions to your schedule 20% of the time. I want to highlight that this rule is for children who are already well-rested and have healthy sleep habits. The 80/20 Rule allows you to “live life” and enjoy those special moments with your family. If your family is celebrating a birthday, a holiday, going on vacation, or has a doctor’s appointment during nap time these are times you can use this rule. 80% of the time you stick to the well-established healthy sleep schedule and then 20% of the time, when you have an event, you have the option to skip naps, go off track on the timing of sleep, take naps on the go, or have a later bedtime. Each child is unique, and their sleep needs and temperaments are different. Some kiddos that are flexible and able to handle change will bounce back without issue. Other children are more sensitive to change and have a harder time dealing with any deviation in timing. For these little ones who are sensitive to change, you might want to consider that the 80/20 Rule isn’t always worth it and be very picky about when you push the limits. You might want to think about a 90/10 Rule. Here are some tips when using the 80/20 Rule: Get right back on track as early as possible. Your child may push back a bit but be consistent. You already know that your child knows what to do. They just need the reminder and the security of their usual routine. Offer early bedtime so that any sleep debt is quickly replenished. Enjoy 20% of your time with your family. Make memories, relax, and know that the healthy sleep habits that you have previously established will allow for more enjoyment during your special family time. I am here to help. If you need help getting your child’s sleep on track so that you can enjoy the benefit of the 80/20 Rule, let’s talk! Email me at backtozzzs@gmail.com to set up a free 15-minute introductory call where I can tell you more about how I work with clients.

It is coming. November 3rd will be the time to move the clocks back one hour! The fall time change means that your child’s sleep will need to be adjusted. Just when you got your little one back on a schedule after the summertime fun, here comes another bump in the road that can mess up your hard work. Your child’s schedule will be off one hour which could result in early wakeups and bedtime battles. If your child usually wakes up at 7:00 am, that now means they will be waking up at 6:00 am. It can also mean that your child will fight when it comes to bedtime as they may not be ready for the usual 6:30 pm bedtime if their bodies are telling them, it is only 5:30 pm. The good news is your child will adjust to the time change. You just need to prepare, be patient, and be consistent. Here are a couple of methods to help your child deal with Day Light Saving Time. Method One: The Gradual Approach You can prepare your child ahead of time by adjusting everything little by little. We have to adjust for one hour in their schedule. To do the gradual change, you can begin to shift your day back in 15-minute increments. You can start 8 days ahead of November 3rd, allowing for a couple of days at each interval change. We would start bedtime about 15 minutes later each day. For example, if your child’s bedtime is 6:30 pm, you would put them to bed at 6:45 for a couple of nights. After a couple of days of the 6:45 pm bedtime, you would bump it up to 7:00 pm. You should adjust the time every two days until you reach the one-hour mark of 7:30 pm (which will be the new 6:30 when the time changes). You also need to adjust the morning wake-up and all naps and meals, so everything is in place. In using the gradual method, your child will be adjusted by the time November 3rd comes along. Method Two: The “Jump Right In” Method For this method, you just rip off the band-aid on D-day. On the day of the time change, you shift everything accordingly. We will want to make sure the room is extra dark for each sleep cycle to help the body shift the production of melatonin as your child adjusts to the new time change. We also want to keep in mind that your little one might be tired for up to a week as they adjust. If they lose sleep due to the time change then compensate for the lost sleep by offering an extra early bedtime so that they do not collect a sleep debt. The better rested your child is going into the shift in time, the better they will adjust. Choose a method that fits your child’s temperament best. If your child has a hard time with change or is sleep-sensitive, then the gradual approach might work best for your family. If your child is flexible and handles change smoothly then the direct approach might be the option for your child. A tip to help your child adjust to the time change as well as any other disruptions to the sleep schedule is to be consistent. It is important to have a consistent soothing routine. The sleep routine is a wonderful cue to your child that it is time for their bodies and minds to start to relax and get ready for sleep. Consistency is also important when we respond to wakings and protests. While your child adjusts to the disruption in the sleep schedule your consistent response will remind them of the sleep rules and help get them back on track. It may take about a week until your little one has completely adjusted, so be patient with the process. You got this!!!

One of the most common questions that I get when working with parents is when it is time to transition from two naps to one nap. I have the answers to your questions as well as tips on how to make this transition. At what age? The average age to cut down from two naps to one nap is between 15-18 months of age. Some children do it a little sooner and some a little later. There isn’t a set age to make this transition, so we look at a range. Each child is different. Don’t Rush It! Keep the two naps as long as possible! I will repeat this……keep the two naps as long as possible. If one nap is taken away before your child is ready you will find that your child will go into an overtired state. This will interfere with your child’s mood and behavior. You will also begin to see bedtime protests and multiple night waking due to this overtired state. If you don’t feel confident that your child is ready to drop down to one nap yet, then I would suggest putting a cap on the first nap. This will protect the two naps for a little longer. Often parents look forward to this transition because it offers more freedom to do the things they need and want to do, however, if this is done too early your child’s sleep bank will quickly get depleted and the well-established sleep habits that you have put into place will begin to crumble. Clues Your Child Is Ready: If you are offering your child two naps a day consistently for two weeks during the age range of 15-18 months of age and your child is skipping one of the two naps, then your child is showing signs that they are ready to transition to one nap. Each child is different in which nap they skip but the key is that they are consistently skipping one of the two naps when offered them consistently. Some children skip their morning nap, and some children skip the afternoon nap. Another thing to look at is your child’s night sleep. If your child were going to bed for the night without protest and having consolidated sleep and now you are seeing a change then this could be due to your child having too much day sleep. What if my child is skipping naps before this age range? Most children are not yet ready before the age range of 15-18 months of age to transition to one nap. There will be times that they will protest naps before this time. This is very normal! What is happening when your child is skipping naps before the average age range is your child is going through a sleep regression or demonstrating a sleep strike. When your child is learning a new skill like standing, walking, and talking they will go through sleep disruptions. It is such an exciting time for your little one. They want to practice this new skill all the time. Sleep will take a back seat. If your child is younger than the age range and skipping naps stay the course and continue to offer the two naps. It will pass if you continue to be consistent. How do I transition from two naps to one nap? Once you have determined that your child is ready to drop one nap after two weeks of offering the two naps, then stop offering the first nap. This transition does take time and patience. Think of this as a process. To begin with you can start to offer the one nap in the later part of the morning. Every few days push the nap time a little later until you get to your goal of offering the nap in the early afternoon. For a while, you may need to offer an early bedtime until your little one adjusts to the one-nap schedule. When making this transition be patient with the process and your child. Your child will once again amaze you when you offer a consistent response to the new sleep schedule.

If your child was taking great naps, then suddenly, they are protesting or skipping naps, this could be a sign of a nap strike. If it is not yet age-appropriate to consider the next nap transition, don’t jump to thinking your child is ready to drop a nap. If you would like some guidance on age-appropriate nap transitions, check out this blog post on nap transitions . Nap strikes can happen at any time, but the 2 common ages that they are seen are 12 months and 24 months of age. Usually, it correlates with some big physical, verbal, or behavioral changes. During these times, naps are protested or skipped but a child still needs this downtime and still needs the opportunity to fall asleep. If you completely take away the opportunity, you will find your child will build a sleep debt. At 12 months (give or take), children often begin to have verbal explosions and may be working on walking. The 2-year sleep regression is something I call the “little scientist” stage. Toddlers this age are like little scientists. This is a normal developmental bump. This regression is a little different than previous regressions. A toddler this age is testing their environment, responses from others, and boundaries. This is how they learn. This is the way they come to understand cause and effect. Who wants to sleep when there is so much fun to be had? So how do I survive this nap strike? Remain Consistent: Continue to offer the nap at the regular nap time. Allow the full crib time. You want to offer the entire length of the nap. Even if your child wakes up early, give extra time to allow falling back to sleep. Remember this is only a common sleep regression and there is nothing to fix, so try not to help the situation by interceding. This could cause the nap strike to last longer. Early Bedtime: If your child skips a nap, make bedtime earlier. Don’t Let Your Child Sleep Late to Make up for lost sleep: You want to make sure to start the day at the normal time. They say never wake a sleeping baby. But to get things on track, I suggest waking a sleeping baby to persevere through the next sleep cycle. Change the Expectation: If your child is going through the nap strike after 2 years, old, instead of calling it nap time, change the nap to quiet time. Let your child know that it is ok if they don’t fall asleep, but it is time to relax and have some downtime. It’s ok if your child hangs out and is awake. This takes away the pressure on your child that they must sleep. If you need help with your child’s sleep, reach out to Backtozzzs to find out how we can help your family get back to zzz’s!

Does your baby wake up before it’s time to start the day ready and eager to go? If so, you are not alone! The good news is that with some patience and maybe a few tweaks, you can push those early morning waking out! So, first, let’s define what an early morning wake-up is. If your child is waking up before 6:00 am then they are waking too early, and this is where we can help our child shift to a wake-up time that is more acceptable. It is completely normal for a child to wake up between 6:00 am and 7:00 am. Children are biologically made to wake up during this time. So, if your child is consistently waking up before 6:00 am, then we will want to find out what the reason is and how we can encourage a later wake-up time. Reasons and Solutions for Those Early Morning Waking Up’s Reason: Often a baby will wake up early if their bedtime is too late or if they are overtired from lost day sleep. Logically, parents often think that if they put their child to bed later or skip a nap, they will sleep later! Makes logical sense, right? But we need to look at the biology behind this. A child that goes to bed too late, takes short naps or skips naps produces a hormone called cortisol which is a stimulant that the body produces. Cortisol gives the body the message to wake up, wake up, wake up. Solution: The solution for this is to get your little one on an age-appropriate nap schedule with an early bedtime. Reason: Did you know that our circadian rhythms are guided by light and darkness? It’s true. Light tells the body it is time to wake up and darkness tells the body that it is time to sleep (and supports the production of melatonin, the sleep hormone). Solution: Make the room very dark! Make sure that there is no morning light coming into the room even if you have blackout shades. The sun will find the smallest separation between the shade and the window to come in and announce to your child that morning is here. When morning is approaching our child’s sleep hormone, melatonin, is beginning to wear off so when you add light to that, your child’s body and mind are encouraging a wake-up. Reason: There are external noises that start either within the house or outside of the house as the world begins to wake up. Are neighbors leaving the house for work? Are pets being let out and barking? If you are room sharing is someone in the room snoring or moving around? Since your child’s sleep hormone is beginning to wear off as morning approaches, a baby will wake easier from any of these external sounds. Solution: White noise can help create a barrier between your baby and those external noises. If you room share, put the white noise machine between your bed and their crib. If the noises are coming from outside, then put the white noise near an external wall. Reason- Your child has a reason for wanting to wake up early! Often the activities we do within the first few minutes of getting a child out of the crib or bed can reinforce the waking up. If for example, your child watches their favorite show as soon as they get up or has a feeding the moment you get them out of the crib, this can push a child to start the day as soon as they begin to wake up. Children will also often get in the habit of waking up if the moment they start making noises, they are taken out of bed and get to have play time with their favorite people. Solution: Evaluate what you are doing right after you get your child out of bed. Then, leave about 10-15 minutes before having breakfast, turning on the TV, or having play time. This will help separate the association between waking up and the reinforcer. Set an “OK to Wake Time,” Keep Your child in bed until that time. If your child gets up before 6:00-7:00 do not reinforce the waking. Instead, keep them in the room until your “ok to wake time.” Reason: Is your child working on a new skill such as learning to sit up, stand up, cruise, or have a verbal burst? If so, you will often see them practice those amazing new skills early in the morning after they have had a good stretch of sleep and have some alone time. They will practice right in the crib. Solution: Let them be. Give them the time to practice their skills, no need to interfere. Also, when you see these new emerging skills, do a lot of daytime playtime practice. The sooner they master the skill the sooner it will become boring, and they will get back to the business of sleeping! Extra Tips to define the start of the day! • Set an “ok to wake time” between 6:00-6:30. If your child wakes up before this time, consider a night waking and keep your child in the crib or bed. This will give your child the opportunity to go back to sleep. If your child is old enough, get an "ok to wake" or a toddler clock to help them understand when it is time to start the day. • When it is “ok to wake time,” wake up the room! This will help define for your child the reason you are going in. Go into the room, say “Good morning sunshine,” open the blinds, turn off the sound machine, and go over to your child giving hugs and kisses! What a great way to define the start of the day! If you need help with early morning wakeups, please feel free to email me at backtozzzs@gmail.com for information on the services that I offer. My passion is helping your family reach the goal of having healthy sleep habits.

Welcome to your child’s first official sleep regression. This regression has a lot of meaning and there are a number of reasons for it! Knowing those reasons can help you improve your child’s sleep so that you can come through the other side of this with a well-rested baby! First, let’s look back. The first four months may have been filled with irregular sleep patterns and sleep may have often been unorganized. This happens because infants younger than 4 months of age (adjusted to the due date if the baby was born early), have immature sleep biology. Your baby’s interval clock (circadian rhythms) and sleep hormone (melatonin) were not yet fully intact. Reasons for the 4 Month Sleep Regression At 4 months old, your baby will begin to have more defined light and deep sleep cycles, just like we do. When your child is transitioning between sleep cycles, they are more likely to wake and not transition to the next sleep cycle. This transition process from one sleep cycle to the next can be hard for little ones who can’t put themselves back to sleep. This is often the reason for short naps and multiple night wakings. Your baby may need an adjustment in their sleep schedule. If your baby is not sleeping at the right time or going to bed too late, there is another hormone that has matured and that is called cortisol. Cortisol is a stimulant that will give your overtired baby the message to stay awake. Also, where your baby sleeps can cause sleep disruptions. Before 4 months of age, your baby may have been able to sleep anywhere. A new baby can sleep on the go and even in a noisy and busy environment. However, due to the development of the circadian rhythms, your little one will wake much easier when things are busy, noisy, or bright. Another cause of the 4 months sleep regression is skill building! If your baby is working on the skill of rolling, you will see sleep disruptions. Who wants to sleep when they can practice this amazing new game? This can be an exciting and frustrating time for your baby. Often babies learn to roll one way first, but then get stuck, which can be frustrating, and they will “call” for you to help them out. What To Do to Get Through The 4-Month Regression Now that we looked at what the 4-month sleep regression is, here are tips to help your baby become a well-rested baby and get Backtozzzs. It is the perfect time to start your child on a path to healthy sleep habits. 1. If you have not yet done so, begin to offer naps and night sleep in a consistent and conducive sleep environment. Offering sleep in the same place each time will help your baby become comfortable in their sleep space. Now that your little one’s melatonin is intact, darkness will help support this hormone. Darkness tells the body that it is time to sleep. I also recommend using a sound machine to keep outside noise outside. This will be helpful when your child is transitioning sleep cycles and going into lighter stages of sleep. 2. Begin to offer a soothing and consistent sleep routine before each nap and bedtime. This will help your child learn what to expect and what is coming next. This is a wonderful cue that will help your child’s mind and body relax and prepare for sleep. 3. It might be time to adjust your little one’s sleep schedule. Instead of offering sleep on a wake-window schedule, start to offer your baby sleep at consistent times each day. It is also important to move bedtime earlier. Early bedtime is a key ingredient in helping your baby stay well-rested. At this age, you are aiming for 3 naps a day (2 long naps and a short cat nap) with an early bedtime. 4. If you are ready, you can begin to teach your little on to fall asleep unassisted through sleep training. Sleep training is where you use your sleep routine to relax your baby, but not to put your baby to sleep. Instead, you put your baby in the crib awake. From there, you use a sleep training method to respond. There are a number of sleeping training methods to choose from. I suggest picking one with which you are most comfortable. The key ingredient in sleep training is consistency! So, choice the method you feel you can be consistent with. 5. If your child is working on the skill of rolling, do a lot of floor and tummy time to practice this skill! The sooner they master this skill, the sooner they will be able to make themselves comfortable in their safe sleep space. Even though this is an exhausting time. The 4-month regression is actually good news. Now that your child has developed circadian rhythms, you can now start to teach the skill of independent sleep if that is something with which you are comfortable. If so, a sleep plan can be put in place that will allow for healthy and restorative sleep! If you need help and support putting together a full sleep plan, Backtozzzs has you covered. Reach out to set up a free 15-minute consultation to find out how our sleep training process works! You will not be alone in the process!

We will soon be entering that time a year again, cold and flu season (and sprinkle in the endless lists of other illnesses). Having a sick child is stressful and it certainly can interfere with sleep. When working with parents to get sleep on track with their child, parents wonder what to do when their child gets sick. They are nervous that they will fall back into old patterns before they did the sleep training. I assure parents that is not the case and provide tips of how to help your little one through the illness and then get sleep back on track! Tips for Handling Illness and Sleep 1. First if your child has a need due to illness, put the sleep plan on a shelf and tend to the needs as they come up. If your child needs extra cuddles, rocking, or check-ins at night take care of those needs. Often it is hard for your baby to sleep when they are uncomfortable from the illness. Sleep is so important to getting better, so give them what they need to help keep them well rested. 2. Keep the same routines before bed to help your uncomfortable little one relax and prepare for sleep. You did a great job at setting up a routine! Giving your sick child the comfort of that familiar routine will help relax your little one. 3. If your child needs extra naps or longer naps during an illness, follow their lead. We know that sleep is an important part of getting better! After the Illness Once your little one is feeling better, get right back on track! Go back to the basics of your consistent sleep routine, sleep schedules and responses to wakeups. Be patient with your little one. If your baby got used to the extra cuddles and check-ins, they may need a few days of consistency to get back on track, but with your lead, your baby will be back to being a rock star sleeper. Remember to give yourself credit for keeping your baby’s sleep tank full before they were sick, which can help with the recovery time, while they were sick and working toward getting back on track once the illness is over, to rebuild the immune system. According to the Mayo Clinic “Studies show that people who don’t get quality sleep or enough sleep are more likely to get sick after being exposed to a virus, such as a common cold virus. Lack of sleep can also affect how fast you recover if you do get sick.” Safe Sleep While Your Baby is Sick Continue to follow safe sleep practices as you help them through the illness. It is important to follow the ABCs of safe sleep even when they are sick. A-Alone (nothing but your baby and a well fitted sheet over a firm mattress), B-Back (always place your baby in crib on their back) and C-Crib (Only offer sleep in a crib, pack and play or a bassinet). Having Trouble Getting Back on Track After the Illness? If you were struggling with your child’s sleep before the illness and now things seem out of control, Backtozzzs can not only help things get back in control but help with overall sleep! Please reach out to Lynn at Backtozzzs to find out more information! You can email me at backtozzzs@gmail.com to set up a free 15-minute call.

Naps are an essential piece of the sleep puzzle! Often it is hard to know when it is time to drop a nap. If a nap is dropped too early, it can lead to over-tiredness. It is important for your child to get the right number of naps at the right times to keep your child well rested. Naps are more than just extra bits of sleep you sprinkle in when you can. Day sleep will support night sleep so getting the right amount of day sleep is important in keeping your child’s sleep tank full! Here is the age-appropriate sleep scheduled:  4-6 months of age: Your child should have 3 naps a day. The morning and afternoon naps should be about 1-2 hours with a short later afternoon catnap.  6-8 months of age: This is the transitional stage from 3 to 2 naps. Every child is different so that is why you see a range. So, look for the clues (see below)!  9-15 months of age: Your child should have 2 naps a day. These naps should be 1-2 hours each.  15-18 months of age: This is the transitional stage from 2 to 1 nap. Every child is different so that is why you see a range. So, look for the clues (see below)!  18 months to 3 years of age: One afternoon nap a day. This nap should be 1.5-2.5 hours a day.  3 -5 years old: This is the transitional stage from 1 to 0 naps a day. Every child is different so that is why you see a range. This range is big! My suggestion during this time is to offer quiet time to give your child the opportunity to sleep. Look for the clues (see below)! You will notice that during each transitional stage, there is a range. It is important to note that it doesn’t happen in a day. For example, your 7-month-old child won’t go from today I need 3 naps, but tomorrow I only need 2. It is important to note that when you are looking at these clues, you want to look at patterns and not a one or two off day. I suggest looking for these clues over a two-week period to decide if your child is ready to drop a nap and fall within the age range. Clue to look for: 1. Your child is taking a long time to settle when you put them down for a regular nap. 2. Your child settles nicely, but then begins to wake up early from the nap. 3. Your child will take one of the naps nicely but struggle with the other nap. 4. Your child still loves their naps, but then struggles at bedtime (just doesn’t seem tired). 5. Your child, who previously slept well at night, suddenly begins to have night wakings. 6. Your child, who previously slept between 6-7 am suddenly begins to wake up earlier and is unable to settle back to sleep. Tips for Transitioning naps: 1. As I mentioned, the nap needs do not change in a day. It is more of a gradual change. So, while going through this transition, offering the nap to see if that day, the nap is needed. If you notice for about 2 weeks, it is just skipped or there are other signs (look at the clues, and your child is not melting down at the end of the day, your child has told you they are ready to drop the nap, and you can stop offering it. 2. You can preserve a nap a little longer, especially from the transition from 2-1 nap transition, by slowly capping nap number 1. 3. You may notice that there are times outside of the age range that your child might be showing some of the clues. It is important to be aware that there are known sleep regressions that appear here and there called a nap strike. A nap strike is exactly what it sounds like, your child protests naps. If your child isn’t between the age ranges mentioned above, but showing some of the clues, continue to offer the nap. Your child still needs the nap and with your consistent offering the nap will get back on track! Naps strikes can happen anytime you notice developmental leaps! Who wants to nap when there is something so much more fun to do? It is often common for a child to go through a nap strike at 12 and 24 months. 4. It is much easier to tell if your child is ready for a nap transition if the foundation for the nap(s) is on track. If your child struggles with short naps regularly, their timing of nap transitions will be harder to read and may not align with the ages above. Naps can be hard to navigate and nap struggles are real! If your child is struggling with naps, I can help! Please reach out by emailing me at backtozzzs@gmail.com or check out my website Backtozzzs .