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The 80/20 Rule
October 23, 2024
When Life Happens!
The 80/20 Rule, for When Life Happens!
If you have ever worked with me on sleeping training with your little one, you will know my #1 tool to reach success. It is to be consistent. Being consistent is the key to getting and keeping sleep on track. It is important while sleep training to offer dedicated time with that consistent message so that your little one will have the opportunity to learn the new skills and routines that are needed for successful sleep training.
Once you have your little one consistently sleeping well, then what? Does your child’s schedule mean that you can’t celebrate holidays, have day outings, or take vacations? Does that mean you have to decline all offers for fun activities? The answer is no. You can make exceptions and still keep your child well-rested. This is where the 80/20 Rule comes in.
What is the 80/20 Rule?
The 80/20 Rule means that you stick to your healthy consistent sleep schedule 80% of the time. You then can make exceptions to your schedule 20% of the time. I want to highlight that this rule is for children who are already well-rested and have healthy sleep habits.
The 80/20 Rule allows you to “live life” and enjoy those special moments with your family. If your family is celebrating a birthday, a holiday, going on vacation, or has a doctor’s appointment during nap time these are times you can use this rule. 80% of the time you stick to the well-established healthy sleep schedule and then 20% of the time, when you have an event, you have the option to skip naps, go off track on the timing of sleep, take naps on the go, or have a later bedtime.
Each child is unique, and their sleep needs and temperaments are different. Some kiddos that are flexible and able to handle change will bounce back without issue. Other children are more sensitive to change and have a harder time dealing with any deviation in timing. For these little ones who are sensitive to change, you might want to consider that the 80/20 Rule isn’t always worth it and be very picky about when you push the limits. You might want to think about a 90/10 Rule.
Here are some tips when using the 80/20 Rule:
- Get right back on track as early as possible. Your child may push back a bit but be consistent. You already know that your child knows what to do. They just need the reminder and the security of their usual routine.
- Offer early bedtime so that any sleep debt is quickly replenished.
- Enjoy 20% of your time with your family. Make memories, relax, and know that the healthy sleep habits that you have previously established will allow for more enjoyment during your special family time.
I am here to help. If you need help getting your child’s sleep on track so that you can enjoy the benefit of the 80/20 Rule, let’s talk! Email me at backtozzzs@gmail.com to set up a free 15-minute introductory call where I can tell you more about how I work with clients.
It is coming. November 3rd will be the time to move the clocks back one hour! The fall time change means that your child’s sleep will need to be adjusted. Just when you got your little one back on a schedule after the summertime fun, here comes another bump in the road that can mess up your hard work. Your child’s schedule will be off one hour which could result in early wakeups and bedtime battles. If your child usually wakes up at 7:00 am, that now means they will be waking up at 6:00 am. It can also mean that your child will fight when it comes to bedtime as they may not be ready for the usual 6:30 pm bedtime if their bodies are telling them, it is only 5:30 pm. The good news is your child will adjust to the time change. You just need to prepare, be patient, and be consistent. Here are a couple of methods to help your child deal with Day Light Saving Time. Method One: The Gradual Approach You can prepare your child ahead of time by adjusting everything little by little. We have to adjust for one hour in their schedule. To do the gradual change, you can begin to shift your day back in 15-minute increments. You can start 8 days ahead of November 3rd, allowing for a couple of days at each interval change. We would start bedtime about 15 minutes later each day. For example, if your child’s bedtime is 6:30 pm, you would put them to bed at 6:45 for a couple of nights. After a couple of days of the 6:45 pm bedtime, you would bump it up to 7:00 pm. You should adjust the time every two days until you reach the one-hour mark of 7:30 pm (which will be the new 6:30 when the time changes). You also need to adjust the morning wake-up and all naps and meals, so everything is in place. In using the gradual method, your child will be adjusted by the time November 3rd comes along. Method Two: The “Jump Right In” Method For this method, you just rip off the band-aid on D-day. On the day of the time change, you shift everything accordingly. We will want to make sure the room is extra dark for each sleep cycle to help the body shift the production of melatonin as your child adjusts to the new time change. We also want to keep in mind that your little one might be tired for up to a week as they adjust. If they lose sleep due to the time change then compensate for the lost sleep by offering an extra early bedtime so that they do not collect a sleep debt. The better rested your child is going into the shift in time, the better they will adjust. Choose a method that fits your child’s temperament best. If your child has a hard time with change or is sleep-sensitive, then the gradual approach might work best for your family. If your child is flexible and handles change smoothly then the direct approach might be the option for your child. A tip to help your child adjust to the time change as well as any other disruptions to the sleep schedule is to be consistent. It is important to have a consistent soothing routine. The sleep routine is a wonderful cue to your child that it is time for their bodies and minds to start to relax and get ready for sleep. Consistency is also important when we respond to wakings and protests. While your child adjusts to the disruption in the sleep schedule your consistent response will remind them of the sleep rules and help get them back on track. It may take about a week until your little one has completely adjusted, so be patient with the process. You got this!!!
One of the most common questions that I get when working with parents is when it is time to transition from two naps to one nap. I have the answers to your questions as well as tips on how to make this transition. At what age? The average age to cut down from two naps to one nap is between 15-18 months of age. Some children do it a little sooner and some a little later. There isn’t a set age to make this transition, so we look at a range. Each child is different. Don’t Rush It! Keep the two naps as long as possible! I will repeat this……keep the two naps as long as possible. If one nap is taken away before your child is ready you will find that your child will go into an overtired state. This will interfere with your child’s mood and behavior. You will also begin to see bedtime protests and multiple night waking due to this overtired state. If you don’t feel confident that your child is ready to drop down to one nap yet, then I would suggest putting a cap on the first nap. This will protect the two naps for a little longer. Often parents look forward to this transition because it offers more freedom to do the things they need and want to do, however, if this is done too early your child’s sleep bank will quickly get depleted and the well-established sleep habits that you have put into place will begin to crumble. Clues Your Child Is Ready: If you are offering your child two naps a day consistently for two weeks during the age range of 15-18 months of age and your child is skipping one of the two naps, then your child is showing signs that they are ready to transition to one nap. Each child is different in which nap they skip but the key is that they are consistently skipping one of the two naps when offered them consistently. Some children skip their morning nap, and some children skip the afternoon nap. Another thing to look at is your child’s night sleep. If your child were going to bed for the night without protest and having consolidated sleep and now you are seeing a change then this could be due to your child having too much day sleep. What if my child is skipping naps before this age range? Most children are not yet ready before the age range of 15-18 months of age to transition to one nap. There will be times that they will protest naps before this time. This is very normal! What is happening when your child is skipping naps before the average age range is your child is going through a sleep regression or demonstrating a sleep strike. When your child is learning a new skill like standing, walking, and talking they will go through sleep disruptions. It is such an exciting time for your little one. They want to practice this new skill all the time. Sleep will take a back seat. If your child is younger than the age range and skipping naps stay the course and continue to offer the two naps. It will pass if you continue to be consistent. How do I transition from two naps to one nap? Once you have determined that your child is ready to drop one nap after two weeks of offering the two naps, then stop offering the first nap. This transition does take time and patience. Think of this as a process. To begin with you can start to offer the one nap in the later part of the morning. Every few days push the nap time a little later until you get to your goal of offering the nap in the early afternoon. For a while, you may need to offer an early bedtime until your little one adjusts to the one-nap schedule. When making this transition be patient with the process and your child. Your child will once again amaze you when you offer a consistent response to the new sleep schedule.
If your child was taking great naps, then suddenly, they are protesting or skipping naps, this could be a sign of a nap strike. If it is not yet age-appropriate to consider the next nap transition, don’t jump to thinking your child is ready to drop a nap. If you would like some guidance on age-appropriate nap transitions, check out this blog post on nap transitions . Nap strikes can happen at any time, but the 2 common ages that they are seen are 12 months and 24 months of age. Usually, it correlates with some big physical, verbal, or behavioral changes. During these times, naps are protested or skipped but a child still needs this downtime and still needs the opportunity to fall asleep. If you completely take away the opportunity, you will find your child will build a sleep debt. At 12 months (give or take), children often begin to have verbal explosions and may be working on walking. The 2-year sleep regression is something I call the “little scientist” stage. Toddlers this age are like little scientists. This is a normal developmental bump. This regression is a little different than previous regressions. A toddler this age is testing their environment, responses from others, and boundaries. This is how they learn. This is the way they come to understand cause and effect. Who wants to sleep when there is so much fun to be had? So how do I survive this nap strike? Remain Consistent: Continue to offer the nap at the regular nap time. Allow the full crib time. You want to offer the entire length of the nap. Even if your child wakes up early, give extra time to allow falling back to sleep. Remember this is only a common sleep regression and there is nothing to fix, so try not to help the situation by interceding. This could cause the nap strike to last longer. Early Bedtime: If your child skips a nap, make bedtime earlier. Don’t Let Your Child Sleep Late to Make up for lost sleep: You want to make sure to start the day at the normal time. They say never wake a sleeping baby. But to get things on track, I suggest waking a sleeping baby to persevere through the next sleep cycle. Change the Expectation: If your child is going through the nap strike after 2 years, old, instead of calling it nap time, change the nap to quiet time. Let your child know that it is ok if they don’t fall asleep, but it is time to relax and have some downtime. It’s ok if your child hangs out and is awake. This takes away the pressure on your child that they must sleep. If you need help with your child’s sleep, reach out to Backtozzzs to find out how we can help your family get back to zzz’s!